Hurt
by io sono mi-cchi
Summary: Inuyasha's demise. Kagome's regret. Sesshoumaru's disappointment.


**Hurt  
>By io sono mi-cchi<strong>

Genre: Tragedy, Drama, Hurt/Comfort**  
><strong>Rating: M (for implied sexual content and language)  
>Setting: Alternate Universe<strong><br>**Summary: Inuyasha's death. Kagome's regret. Sesshoumaru's disappointment.

Song: Hurt – Christina Aguilera (You can listen to it while reading).

The sounds of sirens flooded her ears, but she was still. She got down on her knees and caressed the silver-haired man's pallid face. The sight of blood didn't affect her, though she had a fear of them. Nothing mattered, she thought, nothing mattered anymore now that he's gone.

_Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face__  
><em>_You told me how proud you were but I walked away__  
><em>_If only I knew what I know today_

Regret and hurt. Other emotions had no more room in her heart. She remembered the last time they talked a week ago. He was very lively, practically jumping up and down for he passed the bar exam.

"I'm a full-fledged lawyer now, Kagome!" he cheerily announced. She wanted to show him that she was happy for him, but with the stressful situations she was currently handling, she could not. He kept on pestering her. Unfortunately, she wasn't her usual patient self.

She yelled, "Damn it, Inuyasha! Can't you see I have a lot problems? Sure, you've passed the bar. And now? Please don't bother me!"

Inuyasha initially frowned at this and not long enough he snapped, "Can't you forget that damned job for a while and have some fun?"

She bit back, "I don't have time for stupid celebrations! Leave me alone!"

Releasing a frustrated shout, Inuyasha left.

Now, he's gone for good. If only…

_I would hold you in my arms__  
><em>_I would take the pain away__  
><em>_Thank you for all you've done__  
><em>_Forgive all your mistakes__  
><em>  
>"Kagome…" he managed to say, albeit weak. She looked at him with glassy, tear-forming eyes. A couple of tears landed on his forehead.<p>

"I'm sorry," she cried as she buried her head on his cold shoulders, "I'm sorry". He grunted softly as a reply. What it meant remained a mystery.

Forever.

_There's nothing I wouldn't do__  
><em>_To hear your voice again__  
><em>_Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there__  
><em>  
>Black filled the road as the funeral procession took place. There were a couple of people from his class that she recognized. There was his family too. Only a few cried, like his mother, Miroku and Shippou. Sesshoumaru kept a stoic expression. On his right, Rin seemed saddened, but not enough to make her weep.<p>

When he was about to be lowered to the ground, she wanted to join him. Sango's sympathetic hand subconsciously stopped her.

_I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do__  
><em>_And I've hurt myself by hurting you_

Comforting words were exchanged, but it could not fill the emptiness in her heart. It could not replace the guilt she had in her heart. After all, she was the cause of his death.

If her mood was only better that night.

If only she wasn't stupid enough to cross the street without looking at the road.

If only he wasn't there to save her.

If only she was the one who died so he could live.

_Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit__  
><em>_Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss__  
><em>_You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this__  
><em>  
>A couple of months have passed, and she tried to move on. Her friends tried to cheer her up and she went along and acted happy so that they won't worry about her. The parties and the bonding moments with her friends and colleagues lifted up her spirit, and she appreciated that. But when she comes home to her apartment, all of the emotions she tried to erase (and apparently failed to) come back.<p>

She would lie on her side of the bed and hug his pillow. There, she would bury her face and smell his scent which had faded, but her mind seemed to remember it and play tricks on her olfactory system.

Then, she'll weep.

Sometimes, she would browse her contacts in her phone. When she chances on his number, she would call it.

_Yo! Inuyasha here. I'm not available at the moment so leave your message after the beep.__  
><em>  
>Was she that desperate? She asked herself. Cue for another bout of tears.<p>

_Would you tell me I was wrong?__  
><em>_Would you help me understand?__  
><em>_Are you looking down upon me?__  
><em>_Are you proud of who I am?_

Regret.

_There's nothing I wouldn't do__  
><em>_To have just one more chance__  
><em>_To look into your eyes and see you looking back_

Then, she met a pair of golden orbs looking at her with a cool yet calculating gaze. There was something off with his usual stare, though. Was there sympathy? Was there desire? Was there…

She might be imagining things. Her brain had done so many illusions, and it finally reached the point of distrust in her senses.

_I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do__  
><em>_And I've hurt myself_

One day, she had a dream. Inuyasha was there, beside her in bed. He, only clad in his red boxers, was sleeping peacefully. Then, his eyes start to open, fluttering in response to the bright sunlight.

"Good morning, my dearest Doctor Kagome," he groggily yet playfully greeted. At this, Kagome smiled.

His golden eyes surveyed her whole being. Then, he pulls her into a chaste embrace. "I love you," he whispered on her ear. She felt a tingling feeling in her stomach.

They pulled apart and connected themselves once again with a kiss. At first it was sweet and soon it was fuelled with passion. Their brains had only one end in mind: to fulfill the desire for the other.

Sweet nothings. Kisses. Clothes trailing on the floor. Moans and groans.

Then, they become one. An ephemeral moment that seemed to be like eternity.

Soon, they lied down in each others arms. They gazed at each other's eyes. His golden orbs met her brown ones, both glistening with tears and love.

Then, she woke up.

_If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that__  
><em>_I've missed you since you've been away_

Again, she cried. Somewhere along her lamenting, she asked herself, 'When will I stop crying? When will I stop blaming myself?'

"Kagome." A voice called on her side. Inuyasha looks a lot like his half-brother, Sesshoumaru. She felt a pang of guilt stab her heart. Now, not only was she betraying Inuyasha's love albeit he's not alive anymore. She was also using Sesshoumaru.

He was no whore, but she turned him into a likely comparison to one. She didn't know if it was known or unknown to him, but either way it's still wrong.

_Oh, it's dangerous__  
><em>_It's so out of line to try to turn back time__  
><em>  
>He still has that intent gaze, but something flickered on those golden amber eyes. Was it hurt?<p>

It was killing her.

_I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do__  
><em>_And I've hurt myself__  
><em>  
>Inuyasha, I'm sorry.<p>

Sesshoumaru, I'm sorry.

_By hurting you__  
><em>  
>Then, he stood up with his back on her.<p>

"I'm sorry. I'm not good enough to make you happy," he said in his usual monotone, but she could not miss the undertone of hurt in his voice.

He turned to her and gave her a soft kiss on the lips.

That was his goodbye.

And she was stupid enough to not move.

* * *

><p>AN: My first InuYasha fanfic! It's not good enough though. Plus, I don't have experience with that kind of love so forgive me. :) I don't know if it's _too_emo-ish since I don't know what it really feels like.

Anyway, please tell me what you think by reviewing. I don't mind ConCrit.

PPS: I wrote this a few months back. I (finally) posted it here in . I took it from my LJ, and edited it a little.


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